| i am the sex slipped in a.j.'s coffee |
[Sunday, April 10th, 2005 11:56pm] |
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music |
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staind "home" |
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"tonight tonight he's gonna get it right, even losers can get lucky sometime, all the freaks go on a winning streak, in a perfect world all the geeks get the girls"
i like that. a lot. american hi-fi is hott.
i'm listening to old staind right now. i dont know why. the cd with "home" and "suffocate" on it. i like those songs.
people are queer. not the "homo" queer that society has affectionately called it. but the "strange" queer. the one that was intended... the dictionary one.
that's all.
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2 feel no more how can it feel this wrong?
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| what a simple 5 minutes will do for you. |
[Thursday, February 10th, 2005 10:17pm] |
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mood |
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cold |
] |
My writer's block is cured! let me know what you think.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THIS. This moment. I think I could live in this moment forever. Time ticks away ever so slowly now and I am able to take everything in: the air ducts opening, allowing oxygen to circulate around the house, the creaking of worn floorboards, a dog barking wildly in the distance, my unhurried breaths… and his. I can feel him laying next to me, so close that our bodies are creating heat. I glance over to see that his eyes are open, looking up at the ceiling, as were mine only seconds ago. He looks at me now with those wonderful blue eyes of his, and I smile inside. I know that he is it and there is no one else for me in the world. I was never big on fate or destiny, but I know that we were meant to be together.
It was the beginning of summer when I met him; we hit it off right away. There wasn’t a day that went by that we did not spend it with one another. He told me that no one has ever been able to make him feel this way, and that I was the one for him. I became consumed with my love for him, as he did with his… we’re hopelessly in love, one could say. But summer is coming to an end. Fall is near.
Now here we lay, side by side, deeply, hopelessly, and endlessly in love. His hand grabs hold of mine, and I can feel him trembling. I look at him again to see the worry in his eyes. He is scared. But then again, so am I. A smile is all that I can manage to give him; my voice seems to be missing. He has his because he manages to whisper “I will always love you” in my ear. I close my eyes to savor the moment, to remember his voice. I gather the courage to look down at the bed; I know that I shouldn’t, but I do anyway. The blood is everywhere now. The sheets are drenched with it. I stifle a cry, but I cannot help the tears that fall. He is crying too, now. We lay here, side by side, looking into each other’s eyes, allowing the tears to fall silently. I am able to find my voice now. “I will never stop loving you” is all I can reply. But he already knew that. Now we wait. The two lovers. Waiting patiently. To die side by side.
The time has come. Our breaths are coming shorter now. The tears don’t stop falling. I don’t waste any time blinking. I continue staring at him, trying to memorize his face. Hand in hand, our fingers linked, our breaths are coming shorter now. And louder. The sound is hurting my ears. He grips my hand tighter and he doesn’t look away. I can feel his love wash over me, not one ounce of doubt or regret. I AM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU, is what we communicate with our eyes. Shorter breaths, and less quickened. It’s almost done now, and I no longer fear death, fore I have him with me. The last tear falls. The last breath. We remained hand in hand, looking into each other’s eyes. We will remain that way always.
He was the only one for me in the whole world, and I was his. This love could have never been topped. And we didn’t wanna risk losing it forever. So here we lay, side by side, hand in hand, looking upon one another with glazed eyes. I was able to die with my one true love. I was able to die happy. That’s all there is to it.
♥
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6 feel no more how can it feel this wrong?
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